Our members came in, bundled up tight
Excited for the gatherings they’re going to tonight
With cars in the drive-up and people in line
We all settled in to help them on time.
When in from the parking lot there arose such a clatter
We all were wondering what was the matter.
Everyone looked and the wave of heads bobbed
We wanted to be sure we weren’t getting robbed.
There was water on the floor because of the snow
Which made the entryway slick on the tile floor below.
When, what to our wondering eyes do we find
But a little old lady who fell on her behind.
This small woman, didn’t miss a beat
Popped up in a moment – right to her feet.
Into her giant handbag she tucked her rain bonnet
Pulled out a list, yelled out what she had on it.
“I want high yield checking! A rewards credit card, stat!
Get me a notary! Some gift cards! What are you looking at?
A Roth IRA, a Health Savings Account, too!
And some of those Plugged In services for my great-nephew!
One of our members, who was waiting in line
Watched the whole scene, chuckling from time to time.
Finally he asked, “I don’t mean to sound trite
But what is the deal with that old lady tonight?”
Before we could answer, we heard a pick-up’s roar
And a big fat old man suddenly stood in the door.
His eyes how they twinkled! His beard was so white!
The stump of a pipe he held in his teeth tight.
He walked up to the woman and said “Hello, dear.”
We said, “Mr. Claus! Good to see you! You can’t smoke in here!”
Greetings exchanged, paperwork completed, glad-handing.
Then the couple addressed all of the members still standing.
Mrs. Claus said “I was just bustin’ your britches, you sweet little dears.
Santa and I have been Linn Area members for years.
We needed to refinance our truck loan, you see.
Why not have a Children’s Miracle Network candy bar – on me?
We passed out the chocolate as they stepped outside
Climbed up in their truck and prepared for the ride.
We heard them exclaim as they revved out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!